Please, sir or madam, can you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer!
It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the daily mail
It's a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer!
Paperback writer
Writer, writer
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few
I'll be writing more in a week or two
I can make it longer if you like the style
I can change it 'round, but I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer!
If you really like it, you can have the right
You can make a million for you overnight
If you must return it, you can send here
But I need a break, and I want to be a paperback writer,